I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
