Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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