We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
