I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
