Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
