Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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