You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
