so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
