Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize