one two three fourrrrnication!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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