it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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