They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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