oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
