He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
