We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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