she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize