I have demons in me.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
