sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
