? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
