we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
dude. I can hear the air.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
