I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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