have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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