its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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