i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
