you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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