i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
