theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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