dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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