Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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