Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
