I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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