people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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