What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
