well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize