So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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