You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
How many fucks given?
0.12846
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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