if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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