Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
