I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
