Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
