are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
