i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Less talking, more tequila
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
