I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
