every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
