Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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