Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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