Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
