my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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