i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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