Duck Duck Cougar?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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