Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
