brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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