I wish I could punch you in the face.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
