she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
