p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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