one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
