Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
