WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
