I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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