walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
