i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
