There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it's not cheating when I paid for it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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