Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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