I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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