Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
