Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
