false alarm. still invincible.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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